About a week ago my wife was out with our son. They were getting on the bus, when the driver informed her she would have to start paying for him as well. Granted he’s seven and about to turn eight, so its not like what the bus driver said was wrong or mean, we’ve just been lucky since my lil man isn’t the tallest, though he has started to sprout a bit this summer. This also happens to be the same time I find myself looking more and more at him. No longer does he have his baby features, as he starts looking more and more like a little young man.
Fast forward to this past weekend. I’m at a BBQ out in Jersey, it’s after sunset and the kids unable to run around, and are inside flipping through channels. When I walk in, my son is the one with the remote, he happens to stop at The Family Guy, which I tell him, that he knows he shouldn’t be watching that! One of the BBQ’s participants remarks something to the effect of “You don’t let him watch Family Guy, my son watches it, I don’t believe in sheltering him!” I responded by saying that “I don’t really shelter my son from life, and some shows are just not appropriate for kids”. This was not a question on the proper method of rearing a child, or some personal attack on me, so I kept it moving.
See, between me and my wife, she is the one that I would say shelters him. While I’m a bit open to letting him watch certain movies, shows, and cartoons she isn’t. I grew up watching adults, who while they didn’t sit around cursing, talking about drug, murder and mayhem, they did have ADULT conversations. When the discussions were deemed to much for the little ones I was sent away, though while we were there it did not give us the right to partake in what ever talks were happening. This is sort of my outlook with my lil man. I won’t run him off right before having a discussion, or watching a show, but will ask him to take a leave if the subject is something I believe to be to charged for him. This does not only apply to sex, murder, and mayhem but include race, religion, politics. I want my son to be a well rounded, but when it comes to cartoons like The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, and American Dad there’s just too much going on.
Do I feel like I’m sheltering my child at times? Nope, its never has it crossed my mind. My child is growing fast. Faster than I expected, so I will not expose him to what I deem, adult context. While I want him to grow up, I am in no rush for him to get over his childhood, since he will spend much more of his life as an adult.
So parents, how do you feel? Are shows like Family Guy, The Cleveland show, and American Dad cartoons appropriate for your kids? Is there a difference between cartoons and say an actual movie with the same themes? How do you decide if your child is ready or not for “adult context”?
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I totally understand this. My kids are paying attention even when I think they are not. Their brains capture so much and without really understanding what words or actions mean they will start repeating it…I am with you. Family Guy is NOT appropriate for young children! It’s not sheltering but rather limiting the exposure to things his mind cannot understand. Bravo for standing up to your son and parenting beliefs!
Thanks, I give my son the benefit and give him a chance to partake to limited extent in all conversations, but when things take a turn, he knows when I ask him to leave that it is no longer for him. The same way I understood that adults cursed yet I was not able to use those same words, I understood that some things just weren’t for me at the end of the day!
Interesting thoughts – the greatest being that you are actually thinking about this. What I would find most frustrating is that your friend made a judgment call on something that is not his territory. It is one thing to open a dialogue up and discuss but ultimately, we all have limits to what we want our children to be exposed to and when.
When my brother and I were young we liked a television show called Hogan’s Heroes. Our neighbors were not allowed to watch it because their mother completely disagreed with the concept of a show set in a prison camp where many German’s were made out to be foolish. We respected that and when they were at our house, it never came on. That is the key, I think. Respect. What I also like is that you have an open dialogue with your son about how you feel about certain shows and even if you or your wife disagree, you agree to support each other when it is important to the one.
On a personal note, my son only started watching Family Guy when he was 14 and I was horrified but we opened up a dialogue and he explained to me how brilliant he thought the writing was. I watched one episode with him, gave him my opinion and have stopped judging the show or him (outwardly). However, the tele is not on at house often because I have always encouraged my kidlets to engage in other activities. Therefore I do not have to cringe and bite my tongue daily.
I guess when it comes right down to it, we know what each child can handle and how they will handle what they are exposed to. You knew that you were not to use language that the adults in your world used and you didn’t. Others might process that differently and be imitative. My son, Max seems to be disturbed by visual real world events and so television news is out of the question and yet a twisted cartoon which refers to and makes fun of current events doesn’t resonate the same way. In the end only you can make the best decision for your child’s viewing.
…Ellyn
Thanks Ellyn for leaving your thoughts. And yes, RESPECT is a big part when dealing with such situations. Respect for others as well as oneself.
Mateo,
Setting healthy boundaries, having expectations and allowing our children to BE children is NOT sheltering. It’s called responsible parenting!
Enough said?
=)
Wendy @Kidlutions